Wow, today was like traveling back in time to grade 9.  I was working an SPCA booth at a Kamloops Storm hockey game.  (I can’t tell you much about the kids that were playing or the level of play;  there are more hockey leagues up here than you can shoot a puck at.  It’s Canada, eh?)

Anyway, there I was, up on the concourse with our fantastic fundraiser PT, and lo and behold:  a woman was wearing legwarmers!  I can see the attraction of wearing them to a hockey game, but seriously, where can you buy legwarmers in 2008?  Or did someone save them, for “when they come back in style”?  And are they back in style?  Clue me in, internets!

Over the course of the game, I counted at least a dozen women with 80’s hair.  You know, that long perm, with the bumpy bangs shellacked within an inch of their lives?  Where you’d curl sections of your bangs, and not comb them out, so they sat like a stairway of bumpy, shiny, steps?  I know that Big Hair Envy knows exactly the hair I mean.  I haven’t actually seen hair like that since high school.  And what’s with all these 80’s-haired women being at the Storm game?  Are hockey moms stuck in the 80’s?  Maybe I should ask Sarah Palin.  (Ooh, cheap shot!)

But I’ve saved the best for last.  Here’s the backstory first.  When I was in grade 9, my friends and I spent all our time at the roller rink.  We had a great one here in the ‘Loops, and roller skating was way popular.  There was this guy who worked there, behind the skate rental and repair counter.  I’ll call him Skateguy.  (I do know his actual name, of course, but in case he’s one of the four or five people who regularly read my blog, I’ll keep his anonymity.  And you’ll see why in a minute.)

I had the world’s hugest crush on Skateguy.  I loved rollerskating, but I have to admit that there were many times that I went just to see Skateguy.  He was a few years older than I was, with blonde hair and (what I realize now was a weedy kind of) mustache.  I spent a lot of my time at the rink watching him clandestinely.  Or at least, I thought it was clandestinely.  Looking back, it was probably pathetically obvious that I was sooooo in love with him that I thought I would die.

Now, back to the future with me.  I saw Skateguy at the Storm game today.  He was very… round.  And his face, it was round, too.  Unmistakably him, but my God.  So round.  Probably he looks more round than he really is because he’s not the tallest guy.  He was wearing pretty much the same clothes I remember from way back then… well, not the same clothes, I’m sure.  But jeans, some sort of jacket with a sports theme (like a letter jacket, but not quite so lame), and a ballcap.  When they played the national anthem, he took his cap off and holy sh*t, he only had hair around the sides and back, with a great big bald spot, right on top of his head!

I was just astonished!  And I couldn’t help myself, I immediately thought that if that’s how he turned out, isn’t it a good thing we didn’t get together, get married, and have a passel of kids?  (Not like he even gave me the time of day back then, but you know.)  I squealed and poked PT, telling her who he was.  We laughed until we almost peed our pants.

(Now internets, I am certainly not claiming that I’ve aged particularly well myself.  But, to my knowledge, he didn’t have elaborate fantasies of us spending our lives together, so the way I turned out is irrelevant.  So there.)

Skateguy was there by himself.  I don’t know if he was there to cheer on his kid who was playing in the game, or if he’s a hockey addict who goes to all the games of all the teams to get his fix, or if he’s just creepy.  I was just congratulating myself on having squeaked out of a future together.

I hope that his life is good.  Even though he never so much as acknowledged my existence, beyond giving me my size eight skates, I hope he’s got a life he likes.  And, especially, that he’s not creepy.  I feel like that would be weird, for me to have had such a desperate crush on someone who turned out to be creepy.

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